i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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