My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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