i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
