Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
