i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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