I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
