Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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