dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
