she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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