Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
