I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think people are normalizing furries
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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