adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
