I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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