Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
