brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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