masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
