Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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