The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
