I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I am available for nakedness
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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