You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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