If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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