But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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