Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Soap is not a condiment
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
