This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
