Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
