Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
