I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
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She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
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When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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