Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
