Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize