Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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