i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
