the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
