I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize