My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
