I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
