At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
