Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
