porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
