In the future we'll all be gay
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I need to calm my uterus...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
