I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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