I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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