got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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