I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
