so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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