I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
