what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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