I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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