I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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