Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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