..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize