omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
is it fun? or sober?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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