Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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