There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
