That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
