For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
