so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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