it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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