I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
