About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
