I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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